The Pop-Culture Poem

This is a censored version of one of my spoken word poems, intended for entertainment value only. (Also, completed with stage directions, which are italicized). Lines that are interchangeable are denoted with a *.

See how many references you can pick up.


Over 9000 words fight to the surface,
One does not simply stew about their nonsensical order,
I don’t always have writer’s block, but when I do, it’s a rather large pain in the posterior.
For some reason, I can’t let it go, no matter how hard I try.
This is very frustrating, and one of two things shall happen,

My annoyance will build until it explodes like Heisenberg’s false methamphetamine on Breaking Bad,
Or it will rain down adorable kittens from the sky in a wondrous burst of inspiration. (It’s raining cats and dogs quite literally).

Likely the former scenario, (because I’m not that lucky)
this dialogue will be exchanged with my friends,

Step to one side of stage with concerned facial expression and reassuring hand gesture.
“Dude eat a snickers.” Continue reading

Beating Your Head Against A Wall

This poem is dedicated, to all of those moments, when you just want to beat your head against a wall; filing taxes, when it rains for the 100th time, falling in love with someone you hate, gasoline prices, forgetting to do insert arbitrary task here, and so much more. Enjoy:


Frustrations finest,

universe stacked against you,

the wall looks so nice.

The Threshold of Eternity

I’m a Canadian, and as some of you might know, Canadians stereotypically like to complain about the weather. I had that stereotype in mind today… now, I can’t say its true for all of us, but it is true for me. So, to express my frustration with nature, I have created this series of poems: Continue reading

The Prophetic Poems

So, recently, I have discovered that my writings seem to have a prophetic effect.

About two weeks ago, I was working on a rant entitled, “The Internet Is Rolling Over In It’s Virtual Grave”, upon which my internet crashed, and my computer ceased working.

Earlier I had created an Almost-Story about my creativity dying… following that, I suffered writer’s block for several days. (Both of these pieces will be posted soon, once some issues are resolved.)

I have thus concluded, my writings are prophetic. So, lets see how prophetic it might be…


Matching Numbers:

The lottery numbers all matched up,

I happily screamed without let-up, Continue reading

The Hamster Wheel

We are all familiar with the brain. It’s that thing that lets you think, that thing that lets you live, and that thing often replaced with a peanut in 1970’s cartoons. (Cartoon logic is impeccable, isn’t it. )

Today, I’d like to thank that peanut, those turning gears, and that tireless hamster who runs on a wheel, until you can smell smoke. Thank you, for all that you do!



Valiant determination,

Running, burning, thinking,

Master of the mind,


He does know he's not getting anywhere, right?

He does know he’s not getting anywhere, right?

The Poetry Conundrum part 2: Midnight

I don’t usually post anything about my own goings on, you know…. cos my life is boring. But here I am again, in the poetry conundrum. It’s about midnight, and I sit here, smiling as I type away, my scrambling to random places.


Thoughts dashing this way and that,

How does this happen,

Especially rapid thoughts seem to come mind, Continue reading